"I'm not capable of faking enthusiasm for a paycheck."
I confess: I am a huge BuzzFeed quizzes
addict.
This addiction
has gotten to the point in which I have to go back and tediously search for old
quizzes because I have already taken every single one that fits on the general
quiz dashboard.
And maybe also
to the point where I've considered writing quizzes for BuzzFeed myself because
gosh darn it, they take way too long to upload new ones.
Let's be clear
here.
I do not joke
around with these quizzes.
So unlike my
friend who intentionally skews her answers so she can get Daenerys as her Game
of Thrones spirit animal and Dr. Alex Karev as her Grey's Anatomy boyfriend, I
am very honest with my answers. So if they
ask me, "You could be best described as....?", you can be sure I
will, at the very least,
consider phoning (texting) a friend and ask for their opinion.
Needless to say,
there are only a handful of personality quiz questions are I can answer without
hesitation. So if they ask me, "What is your greatest fear?",
easy.
Failure.
Not so much
failure as in failure on exams (been there, done that on Wednesday's physics
exam), but rather failure at reaching my fullest potential.
At this point in my short
semester-and-a-half blogging career, I have already done my fair share of
writing about the thoughts and worries of all typical college-aged students
including doubts about major selection, dream jobs, not just setting goals but also
reaching them, and even being too ambitious about who we will become in the
future. In short, every college student’s fear of the great, big, beautiful,
also really ambiguous, slash highly questionable, slash annoyingly uncertain tomorrow. So
today, I am going to give myself (and you, if you’re still on the same boat as
me) some closure on this topic.
Not to get all philosophical or cheesy
or anything fluffy like that, but the thing is, no matter how well thought out
and planned you think you have your life right now, life will not, can not, work out the way you expect it to.
Take my
spring break for example. The plan was to write the rest of my passion and
CI blog posts so I can finally stop scrambling Thursday night, study for the
physics exam (ha, good one), and get ahead on calc.
Needless to say. None of that happened.
And here I am writing my blog post on Thursday. Again.
Bottom line is, if we cannot even stick
to a short seven day plan, there’s no way a three, ten, twenty year plan is
every going to hold. And you know what? That’s really, really ok. Because
something will always get in the way, whether it be a new sense of purpose or
sheer laziness (on my part). The only important thing is to know when it is
worth fighting to stay on track for your dream and when to accept change and
let it lead you somewhere new and unexpected.
So like the man in the photo, I don’t
think I’m capable of faking enthusiasm for a paycheck because as of this
moment, I know exactly where I want to be in ten some odd years and if I’m not
where I want to be, with the job I envisioned (and the beach house I want plus the accompanying surfing skills), it’s going to be tough, because
I know I have the potential to accomplish what I have envisioned. But the point here is to have goals but also to be
peace with making wrong decisions and making changes.
So now we can stop worrying about choosing the right major or setting the right goals because all this is relative.
So now we can stop worrying about choosing the right major or setting the right goals because all this is relative.
That, folks, is life.
Call it the relativity of life.
Call it the relativity of life.
Ok.
Enough of this fluffiness.
Case closed.
I love this post! I literally go through the stages of grief when I start to think about my major, or just my future in general, until I reach the point of just accepting that I really have no control over it anyway, so why worry so much? Setting goals and working to accomplish them is a scary thing, but like you said, things aren't going to work out how we think they will, and that's the relativity of life.
ReplyDeleteI love this blog because it is so relatable to what I think the average person experiences. Everybody has goals or ideas of what they want, but things get in the way all the time and may prevent those goals from being realized. It's important to do what you want, and I think that many times people just become too lazy and too tired of trying to chase their goals once they don't immediately fall into place.
ReplyDeleteI love this blog because it is so relatable to what I think the average person experiences. Everybody has goals or ideas of what they want, but things get in the way all the time and may prevent those goals from being realized. It's important to do what you want, and I think that many times people just become too lazy and too tired of trying to chase their goals once they don't immediately fall into place.
ReplyDeleteLisha, I truly love reading your blog! You always share a very clear, important message that relates not only to you, but your audience as well. I have thought about my ability to reach my full potential before, many times actually, and I too worry that it is not being fulfilled. However, you make very good point when you conclude with making peace with wrong decisions. We learn from the mistakes we make and if we sit and squander, we will never live life and reach our full potential.
ReplyDeleteYour posts are so nice! It's so relatable! Honesty is always an important aspect in life, and it is better than getting a job and feeling miserable (i guess).
ReplyDeletePhysics may just get the way of my dream major, too. However, my passion is medicine. I believe I can make it to my end goal, but I agree that adversity will make the road to my goal bumpy and I will probably take several detours. I think college students over exaggerate the fear of failure due to sleep deprivation and overcrowded schedules.
ReplyDeleteI've constantly thought about this situation, typically nights before a major exam, that this one grade will be detrimental to my plan in life. Sometimes, you just have to face the music, and throw the crowd one of these: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . It's okay to be unsure, and thank you for writing about this to make me feel even better about being unsure in the best of times and worst of times.
ReplyDeleteI think everyone can relate to things you have said here, Lisha. I, for one, am also deeply afraid of failure, but I really try to not let it take control of my life. With a fear of failure tends to come a fear of trying, and that, in my opinion, is more detrimental to yourself than any sort of failure. In the end, even if you don't reach your goals, it is the journey that will have affected your life the most.
ReplyDelete